Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
