READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
