it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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