Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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