I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
