Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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