I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
two words: eviction party
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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