I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
