i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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