they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
