I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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