fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
