Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
