just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize