your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
