Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
