last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
