Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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