Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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