Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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