but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
