dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
