my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
