I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
