are you still at the devil's house?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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