Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
