what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
