i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How external is "for external use only"?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
