reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
