apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You smell like stripper and shame
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
