Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
