uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
