Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
