But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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