im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
