i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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