Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
