Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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