Since when is my name a synonym for head?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
