the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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