dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
