its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
two words...techno handjob
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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