Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In the future we'll all be gay
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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