Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
one might say we're banned from that church
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
