We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
