Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
