I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
