remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
