This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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