i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
