I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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