dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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