is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just gargled with NyQuil
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
