She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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