i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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