yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
