I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
