what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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