Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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