How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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