would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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