careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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